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13 August 2008 @ 10:54 pm
I'm so lazy  
5 Pirates of the Carribean: Pintel/Ragetti (actually one is a POTC/Moby Dick crossover, but shh.)
15 Good Omens: Aziraphale/Crowley (actually one is a Harry Potter crossover, ooh.)



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Amused by butterflyweb (Fandom: Pirates of the Carribean, Pairing: Pintel/Ragetti, Rating: PG, Status: 1 Part, Complete)

'“Yer a bleedin’ pirate fer christsakes, Rags!” Pintel near shouted, waving his arms for emphasis. “Pirates don’t have—” He cut himself off mid-sentence, refusing to say the word.

Ragetti’s lower lip jutted out further and he made another half-hearted attempt for the scrap of cloth. “’S called a cuddle.”

“Whot?!”

“Me blanket. ‘S called a cuddle. Give it back."'

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Awake and Impressed by butterflyweb (Fandom: Pirates of the Carribean, Pairing: Pintel/Ragetti, Rating: PG, Status: 1 Part, Complete)

"And so Pintel sat, straining to remain awake, keeping an eye on Ragetti. His pistol cocked and ready should any man dare try to take the lad. He’d send the captain to hell himself first. Sighing, he leaned forward, touching the blood-soaked bandages covering Ragetti’s face, hiding the damage done. Oddly gentle, he stroked his thumb over the lad’s cheek once, before leaning back and rubbing at his eyes."

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Isla de Muerta Quartet by teenybuffalo (Fandom: Pirates of the Carribean/Moby Dick Crossover, Pairings: Pintel/Ragetti, Ishmael/Queequeg, Rating: PG-13, Status: 1 Part, Complete)

'"Great enormous buggers," Ragetti assured us. "Wot breathed fire."

"--Anyhow, Rags got better by the time we reached Canton."

"An’ yer bought me this." Ragetti patted his white fur coat. "Cause I can’t keep warm no more."

"‘E never were wot you’d call well-built. Not like me."

"I got no layer a’ subcutaneous fat t’ insulate me," said Ragetti. "But if I got me coat on I’m all right."'

So, I may never have managed to finish Moby Dick, and I may never have read a fic in this fandom before this one, but suffice to say this is one of the most brilliantly hilarious things I've ever read. (Thanks to Thad for browbeating me into this one.)

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Sound, Taste, Sight, Smell, Touch by butterflyweb (Fandom: Pirates of the Carribean, Pairing: Pintel/Ragetti, Rating: PG, Status: 1 Part, Complete)

'“Tell me a story, Pintel.”

The plea is soft, raspy, and spoken from lips still stained with blood. It echoes the childish appeals of so many years past, of whispers and frustrated sighs lost to the creaking of sea-battered hulls. It is broken, as is his lad, and the sight of pale, hollowed features is almost more than the older pirate can bear.

“Don’t ye think yer a mite old fer stories?” he asks, gruffly, as is expected. They’ve grown used to this pattern, of fight and give, and he knows his lines almost by rote. So he’s surprised when, following a stomach-wrenching cough, Ragetti shivers, and deviates from the script.

“Fine, then. Can ye jus’ sing t’ me a bit?” '

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The Storyteller's Mouth by manikaitwing (Fandom: Pirates of the Carribean, Pairings: Pintel/Ragetti, Ragetti/Gibbs [sort of], Rating: PG-13, Status: 1 Part, Complete)

'The knife shook a little in an already unstable hand. Which frankly is just as dangerous as a firm hand, if you catch my drift. And right when he almost had me, right when he could've gotten me to do a quarter-jig and a bow if he fancied it, the lad's voice turned pleading. "And I jus' made a mistake, as you said. So need to be tellin' the whole crew, eh?"

I frowned, again at nothing. Why the hell he thought I'd be tellin' anyone is what I wanted to know, but I didn't say that. Ragetti didn't care for my silence and poked me with his blade a bit. "Answer me, ya fancy drivelswigger!" he said between his teeth.

He wasn't threatening anymore and I could've twisted the lad's wrist and dislodged the knife in a heartbeat of broken bones. If you ever happen to clap eyes on the thin build of said lad, you'll know that's not bragging. A waste of bones and flesh he was, and he'd been cursed for ten years by Aztec gold. The effects of that particular legend I'll trust you know.'

I absolutely adore the way this fic takes their relationship from an outside point of view.

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Innocence and Experience by louiselux (Fandom: Good Omens, Pairing: Aziraphale/Crowley, Rating: R, Status: 1 Part, Complete)

"'What's wrong with odd? Odd's fine. You're odd. Anyway, m' nice-looking, got my own car. You're lucky, really. Could do a lot worse.'

'No, absolutely not.'"

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Intercourse by taleya (Fandom: Good Omens, Pairing: Aziraphale/Crowley, Rating: R, Status: 1 Part, Complete)

"Crowley wasn’t exactly into foreplay.

At least not the human kind."

They have sex in midair. Yeah. Yeaaah.

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The Invitation by caitirin (Fandom: Good Omens, Pairing: Aziraphale/Crowley, Rating: G, Status: 1 Part, Complete)

"When the Almighty requested your presence it wasn't something you could brush off with a 'sorry, I've got plans'. "

A cute, sweet story with great characterisation and a really well formed moral to it.

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It's the Happiest Season of All by mangy_mongrel (Fandom: Good Omens, Pairings: Aziraphale/Crowley, Pepper/War, Adam/Brian/Wensleydale Rating: NC-17, Status: 1 Part, Complete)

"Now he was occupied in watching the merrymakers out in full force on the pavement below his apartment. Some were well-sloshed and some were on the way there. He ought to have felt proud, for he had had a hand in causing all this gluttony and greed and whatnot, but after doing this year upon year upon year, all he felt now was tired. Crowley fell bonelessly on his couch and turned on his sleek new television set. The sound from its speakers almost covered up the sound of Aziraphale puttering around in his kitchen.

Yes, he had Aziraphale over. No, it wasn’t his idea. The blasted angel had insisted on coming over every Christmas and Easter and even on random weekends ever since the Apocalypse-that-wasn’t. The little old lady on the floor below had begun giving them winks and smiles. That was before she had passed on, of course. He wondered what had become of her. Wherever she was, she was probably still winking at them, though."

There definitely needs to be more hot, supernatural sex like this. The characterisation is perfect, the footnotes are to die for, and the cameos are perfectly placed so they add to the story rather than detracting from it.

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A Midnight Clear by blueeyedtigress (Fandom: Good Omens, Pairing: Aziraphale/Crowley, Rating: soft PG-13, Status: 1 Part, Complete)

A cute, amusing little fic about gift-giving.

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Of Shillings and Christmas Tricks by miscellanny (Fandom: Good Omens, Pairing: Aziraphale/Crowley, Rating: PG, Status: 1 Part, Complete)

"Aziraphale was slumped in a somewhat despondent manner on a rather pretty park bench. London was full of that sort of thing - sudden parks small enough to trip over, lurking on many a side street and waiting to steal one's dignity; or, at least, one's impeccable cleanliness. If one moves in the right circles, this comes to much the same thing. He was bundled in a long overcoat that had gone out of fashion somewhere around the 1870s, and had his nose buried in a quite ridiculously long green scarf that had been tripping him up all evening; underneath, it was just about possible to make out the somewhat moth-eaten trouser legs of the quite atrocious suit he'd insisted was 'traditional.' The impression was given, most strenuously, that Aziraphale wouldn't even know such social circles existed."

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Once More With Feeling by xylodemon (Fandom: Good Omens/Harry Potter Crossover, Pairings: Aziraphale/Crowley, Adam/Pepper, unrequited Wensleydale/Pepper, Adam/Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Anathema Device/Newt Pulsifer, Rating: PG-13, Status: 3 Parts, Complete)

"Once again, it wasn't a dark and stormy night. In fact, dark and stormy nights had been rather far and few between in the last six years. They seemed to be saved for special occasions, such as Halloween, horror film premieres, and winter solstice celebrations at Stonehenge. Presently, the blue-black night was clear, if a bit listless, and the stars, grateful that avenging angels had never been allowed to cast them from the sky, twinkled like tiny diamonds."

Honestly one of the best-thought-out crossovers I've ever read. An excellent plot (the idea of Armageddon take 2 is flawlessly executed here), and a seamless blending of the two worlds.

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Pennies from Heaven (Pound Notes from Hell) by melandry (Fandom: Good Omens, Pairing: Aziraphale/Crowley, Rating: PG, Status: 1 Part, Complete)

"On Warlock's second birthday, a man in a pair of designer sunglasses bought him a helium balloon as Harriet pushed his stroller through the park. Though she remembered tying it to Warlock's wrist quite tightly, the next time she turned around, it was floating up and away. That afternoon, a man who claimed he was from a literacy society left her several free educational children's books, suitable for reading aloud."

Crowley's and Aziraphale's interactions with Warlock before and after the Almost-pocalypse. Reads almost like something that was left out of the book. Practically gen, but absolutely worth the read for the humour . . . and for Warlock, of course.

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The Pleasures of the World by irisbleu and linnpuzzle (Fandom: Good Omens, Pairing: Aziraphale/Crowley, Rating: Hard R, Status: 2 Parts, Complete)

"They were silent for the short ride's entirety, though Aziraphale's hand kept turning up in places that made Crowley want to forget about driving altogether. He'd always taken those casual touches on the shoulder for granted, hadn't he? Fortunately, they came to a traffic light about the time that Aziraphale had decided that setting his hand lightly on Crowley's knee was a good idea. Crowley reached down and took hold of it firmly, swallowing around the knot of fresh panic in his throat.

It was worse than waiting for the world to end, and the distance between their respective residences had never seemed so far. When the light turned, Crowley peeled out fast enough to earn himself several indignant honks and one impolite hand gesture, but it was worth it to feel Aziraphale's grip tighten, then relax under the careful stroking of his thumb. Maybe he was getting the hang of this"

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Race to the Bottom by vulgarweed (Fandom: Good Omens, Pairing: Aziraphale/Crowley, Rating: NC-17, Status: 1 Part, Complete)

"They are exactly the same age, if they can be said to have age at all – born of the same Thought before Time was — so how had Crowley got so young? Childlike even. Moody and petulant and sometimes so fiercely, recklessly brave and sometimes scared of thunder, of open doorways in the dark. Selfish in such an innocent way — distracted by shinies like a magpie - Aziraphale can never stay angry."

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Rainy Days by andremeese (Fandom: Good Omens, Pairing: Aziraphale/Crowley, Rating: R, Status: 1 Part, Complete)

'Meanwhile, said fop was busy trying to scale a tree for shelter. His standard-issue robes and practical sandals weren't helping him much, and he lost his footing more often than not. Frustrated, he finally managed to find decent footing, only to have his wing snag on the devious olive branch. He flapped them frantically trying to free himself. Below him, he heard a hissed snicker. "You tuck them back before you get stuck, geniusss."

He glared at Crawly with all of the terror a tree-bound angel could muster. "You're not helping."

Crawley thought for a moment, then looped around the base of the tree. "Take a step up to your left and you'll find a branch that might support you. You can untangle there."

CRASH!

Crawly sighed. "Your other left, angel. Not that it matters now."'

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Right Between the Deadlights by use_theforce_em (Fandom: Good Omens, Pairing: Aziraphale/Crowley, Rating: NC-17, Status: 1 Part, Complete)

'“Are you… vomiting?” he asked, creeping around the word precariously as though it might be contagious when uttered.

“No, I made sure there was nothing for me to get rid of. This is what they call ‘dry retching’. Add that one to a Bible for me somewhere.”

“Really, there was no call for that,” Aziraphale tutted, starting to grin a bit too sharply to be benevolent. “I can’t help the fact that a little swaying on the salty waves, has made you… well – ”

“Toss my cookies,” Crowley provided helpfully from the rope.

“Now, I’m fairly certain that no one says that.”

“Not yet.”'

So, technically, pretty much nothing is AU in this fandom, but this is pirate-themed, and that's close enough. Bloody brilliant pirate theme, as well. Aziraphale and Crowley are so perfectly characterised, and there are a few amusing cameos, as well.

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Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot by xylodemon (Fandom: Good Omens, Pairing: None, Crowley-centric, Rating: PG, Status: 1 Part, Complete)

'"Exactly!" said Crowley. "And of course, this proves what I've said about humans all along -- that their own brains are far more twisted than the darkest corners of Hell. They went to all the trouble to create ansaphones so they wouldn't have to talk to their Great-Aunt Tessie, and then they go and make it so their Great-Aunt Tessie can phone them on the toilet."

Aziraphale wrinkled his nose. "Why would people bring the telephone to the toilet?"

"Why do people dye their hair purple and put fish-hooks in their ears?" countered Crowley. "Because they can. From what I've learned about humans, that's all the reason they need."'

Based on the fabled New Years Resolution lists, this is an absolutely hysterical set of scenes. It's gorgeously well written and perfectly in-tune to the book. It could practically be canon, honestly.

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Silver Lining by argyleheir (Fandom: Good Omens, Pairing: Aziraphale/Crowley, Rating: PG, Status: 1 Part, Complete)

"When traveling by coach along a moonlit forest road, there are three points of protocol which must always be kept in mind: to avoid highwaymen, to not spill wine on one’s lap when the vehicle comes to a sudden stop after the driver catches sight of a band of highwaymen, and to never negotiate with said band.

Crowley accomplished two of these on a daily basis. He avoided highwaymen insofar as to not actively seek out their company. But they were, after all, his people, and they could no more be held accountable for seeking him out than a moth could be done for courting a candle flame only to find itself burnt to a crisp. Such was the way of things.

Also: he never negotiated."

This is the sort of fic that just imbues you with a sense of warmth and holiday spirit. An almost cozy read.

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Someone is Waiting, We'll Not Go Home Again, and Night by hahahowlucky (Fandom: Good Omens, Pairing: Aziraphale/Crowley, Rating: PG - PG-13 Status: 1 Part, Complete)

"They have taken to meeting here, beside one of the deserted grey beaches, especially around this time of year, when the wind bites bitter through their skin and stirs the willow boughs in front of their noses, browning soft leaves brushing skin brushing skin, touching at too thin wrists and elbows at angles, young, despite their years, and so fragile."

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ayetechnovanilla on August 14th, 2008 04:48 pm (UTC)
I LOVE YOU. LET'S TAKE OUR RELATIONSHIP TO ANOTHER LEVEL.
ayetechnovanilla on August 14th, 2008 04:49 pm (UTC)
AND DID YOU JUST REC ISHMAEL/QUEEQUEG IF SO OH MY GOD I THINK I JUST EXPLODED.
The Goddamn Wolf Womanslythwolf on August 16th, 2008 07:45 am (UTC)
THIS. ALSO WHERE CAN I FIND MORE I MUST KNOW.
Sister Nailgun of Enlightened Compassioncaitirin on August 14th, 2008 07:17 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for the rec! :} It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!
AndreMeese: I Am John Galt: Byakuya; why so serious?andremeese on August 15th, 2008 05:32 am (UTC)
Goodness, that rec was unexpected! That certainly brightened my day! Thank you!
ajat: Lilacs.ajat on August 16th, 2008 02:44 am (UTC)
Wow, this's a fun comm :) Nice stuff !